Restrictions disgust me. Limitations abhor me. Manipulations despise me.
Ever since I was granted the ability to grasp the things that are happening in my surrounding, I have learned to loathe the society as it continuously frustrates me. Rejections, criticisms, admonitions --- I wrestled as I try to piece my crushed heart into one but to no avail. I could not keep up with their expectations; I could not meet their specifications. I found myself in the gutter and so I defied, I rebelled, and I deviated.
I became hopeless. I was breathing but I was struggling for air. I was alive but I felt dead. I was like a zombie in distress. I condemned the society for psychologically and emotionally ostracizing me. Then I resorted to anger and hatred as they discovered their way into my heart. I let them devour and poison my entirety. Then I felt the power. Pride was oozing in my veins. I played the game the world had lain on me. I let them believe that I had become a puppet. I would nod when they asked me to nod, smiled when they told me to smile. They were so pleased but I just smirk. I did not know that the world could be so stupid.
However, just when I thought I was winning the game, I realized that I was only digging a grave for myself. I could not believe that it was I who was dragging myself into the abyss of darkness. I recoiled at the thought of it, so I ran away and shut myself from the world. I placed myself into emotional reclusion as I assessed my deeds. It was then that I recognized the role that I was supposed to play in the society. I have my own mind so I should have my own judgments, my own principles, and my own beliefs. The humanity only existed to assist me in living my life the way it should be. I have become what I have become because of my own doing, thus I have no right to point my fingers to anyone and everyone.
It was then that I have decided to live in harmony with the people around me. Although it is quite difficult as humanity sometimes tend to be so controlling, I have all the freedom to choose what I want to believe and what I want to follow. I would only submit to their demands if I think that there is a need to but I would refuse if I feel that is contravening with my principles. Nevertheless, restrictions still disgust me, limitations still abhor me, and manipulations still despise me, however, they could no longer frustrate me as I have learned to control my life and live it the way it should be.
